18 x 24 in, oil on birch, 2011

This piece was guided by the grain in the wood and was possibly a reaction to a piece created a little before, Seeing Red.  “How high can you climb, how low can you fall?” That’s what seems to have wanted to come out here. It was early on a Friday evening when I started painting and the sun shone into my studio. I kept thinking it's Friday night (the Sabbath), I shouldn’t be painting. I shouldn’t be doing a lot of things, but...

Keeping the rules hasn’t worked, so if I now paint on the Sabbath is that really a sin, or is it telling me something more—how the faith has made less sense to me over the years? Judaism, as I have discovered, as a single, is a family religion and if you haven’t made a match and been fruitful and multiplied, there is little to make you feel welcome—at least in community settings. Others may believe differently—I can only speak from personal experience... Friday nights can be painful when alone and Shabbat Shalom (Peaceful Sabbath), the common Hebrew greeting is not being mocked. I am just choosing to share that my Sabbaths don’t really feel peaceful, no matter how hard I have attempted to have this as goal over the years.

Climbing Kilimanjaro, I made it to the top. I was alone in my perseverance, but not on the journey. With sherpas and co-climbers, there was a sense of belonging, one that felt nurturing, if only then. When we climb high, or fall low, we reach out or have others reach in to us. The little brown character off to the side, whose appearance was also provoked by the wood grain, has outstretched arm. His/her/its pit in the stomach as well as heart in eye are significant too.

Even when the look of paintings changes, my recurring symbols may not. I started to paint the next piece before finishing this one. It was just too difficult to do it all in one session. Pausing and stepping back matters more to me than racing through.

Even when the look of paintings changes, my recurring symbols may not.

I started to paint the next piece before finishing this one. It was just too difficult to do it all in one session. Pausing and stepping back matters more to me than racing through.