This piece had been incubating all week, and much much longer. By Monday evening, I was ready to commit it to canvas. I had never created anything similar and felt concerned as to who might view it and how upset close others could feel. I was tiredbof covering up the truth: terrorism and a legacy of hate passed to the next generation. Ever my priority: what others might think when my own life was in tatters and at risk. Irony and shame!

The statement that is central to the painting emerged spontaneously and concisely, summing up the key issue:

Dear B(r)other, You may not want me to exist, but I still do. The secret is out! My paint(ings) are in response to your terrorism. No, I am not your “problem!” Truth” You have been everyone else’s.

I am not a Scientologist, but, through the week, had found comfort in E. Ron Hubbard’s manual on Repression. When an anti-social personality comes up against a social personality there is a lot of danger and collateral damage from contamination. After a week of painting through the pain, I could finally admit that I won’t be victim anymore, and nor should anyone else.

My process in creating this piece was as interesting as the work that emerged (for me, at least).The final work might look a little regressive and child-like: have the appearance of chalk board writings or graffitied school desk. Some words are scraped out (with brush shaper). Others are highlighted in what could look like teacher’s chalk (but is actually paint). I am both tentative and outspoken in what I share. In bold: brother = bother, paintings = pain. The secret is out! What I am more afraid to publicize, and is the crux of the matter, is a lot fainter. Viewers will have to look more closely to notice it: You may not want me to exist, but I still do. This image is a fear response. The reality: No, I am not your problem!  Truth: you have been everyone else’s.